Thursday, October 4, 2012

Giant in the house

Conversations quickly turn comic and verge on the ridiculous at my home.

Here's a sampling from a half hour ago, when Little Miss M. came back from playschool exhausted, cranky and ready for her afternoon nap.

M: Mommy, I want milk!

Me: Here you go.

I pour some milk into her Toy Story cup and hand it to her.

M: Nooooo! I want milk in my Minnie Mouse cup!

Me: Its in the dishwasher. Why don't you pick a mug from the shelf?

Little Miss M picks our biggest coffee mug. I pour out the milk from the Toy Story cup into it. It barely fills a quarter of the mug.

M (pouting): Why you giving me so little milk?

Me: Its a giant mug! That's why the milk looks less! Drink up.

M (eyes growing wide): Did you say giant mug? Does that mean a GIANT come to my house when I was in school?

Me (sighing): Yes. A giant came to...

M: The giant from Jack and the Beanstalk?

Me: Yes...Can you finish drinking your...

M (wailing now): I don't want a giant to come to my house!

Me (in damage control mode): No, no...he came to see me on some work...he needed me to write a press release....

M (wailing): I don't want a Fee Fie Fo Fum giant to come to my house. Its scary!

Me: OK I'll tell him never to come home again when I see him next.

M: Never ever ever...but, but...don't tell him that!

Me: Why?

M: I don't want you to meet him at home. I'm scared!

Me: I'll tell him in a restaurant, not at home OK? Drink up now.

M: No send him an email! Then you don't have to meet him!

Me: OK now will you just finish your milk?

M: Tell him: Dear Giant, Maya doesn't want you here. So never ever come here again ever! OK?

Living with a three year old sure has its moments.