Here's a sampling from a half hour ago, when Little Miss M. came back from playschool exhausted, cranky and ready for her afternoon nap.
M: Mommy, I want milk!
Me: Here you go.
I pour some milk into her Toy Story cup and hand it to her.
M: Nooooo! I want milk in my Minnie Mouse cup!
Me: Its in the dishwasher. Why don't you pick a mug from the shelf?
Little Miss M picks our biggest coffee mug. I pour out the milk from the Toy Story cup into it. It barely fills a quarter of the mug.
M (pouting): Why you giving me so little milk?
Me: Its a giant mug! That's why the milk looks less! Drink up.
M (eyes growing wide): Did you say giant mug? Does that mean a GIANT come to my house when I was in school?
Me (sighing): Yes. A giant came to...
M: The giant from Jack and the Beanstalk?
Me: Yes...Can you finish drinking your...
M (wailing now): I don't want a giant to come to my house!
Me (in damage control mode): No, no...he came to see me on some work...he needed me to write a press release....
M (wailing): I don't want a Fee Fie Fo Fum giant to come to my house. Its scary!
Me: OK I'll tell him never to come home again when I see him next.
M: Never ever ever...but, but...don't tell him that!
Me: Why?
M: I don't want you to meet him at home. I'm scared!
Me: I'll tell him in a restaurant, not at home OK? Drink up now.
M: No send him an email! Then you don't have to meet him!
Me: OK now will you just finish your milk?
M: Tell him: Dear Giant, Maya doesn't want you here. So never ever come here again ever! OK?
Living with a three year old sure has its moments.
